just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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