these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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