Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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