why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Randomize
