is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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