He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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