STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
