Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
