He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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