im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Randomize
