Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
