Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
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