no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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