Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
