ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Randomize
