Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
