Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
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