The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
