i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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