I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
