Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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