...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
