I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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