I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
