is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
