I want to walk on stilts...naked
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
