Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Randomize
