Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
