her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
