you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Randomize
