You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
