I wannas sexs uuuuu
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Randomize
