party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
