you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Randomize
