I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Randomize
