By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
handjob tips. give me some.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
