Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Then you guys just all showered together...?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
