Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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