i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize
