oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
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