You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
