Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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