Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
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