Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
