I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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