I think my vagina is haunted
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
