It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Randomize
