I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
