well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
