i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
