Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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